Had a fantastic first date, but unsure if a second date is in the making? Forget about your friends’ opinions; ask the staff at the restaurant.
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According to servers, bartenders and managers at various restaurants, many say they can tell how well a date is going and can predict the likelihood of a second date by paying attention to these SIX signs:
#1. Is your date more engaged in his/her cell phone than you?
If the person you’re sitting with is more interested in their phone than getting to know you, your date is likely to end without the possibility of a second one. Lexie, a server at a popular sports bar, sees this often. “It gives off the impression that the couple is aggravated with each other or simply not interested,” she says.
If a date is doing anything on their phone — instead of talking to you — then they’re probably not interested. And you shouldn’t be interested in them, either.
#2. What was your date doing when you ordered?
When you order your food, does your date listen to what you like to eat, or is he/she distracted by something or someone else? “Watch how your date acts during the ordering process,” says Robert Fletcher, who spent a decade in the service industry. “If your date is not listening at all to what you’re ordering, then they’re not showing interest in what you enjoy.” He refers to little things like this as “subtle nuances to interactions.”
Ignoring what you would like to eat could be a hint that your date is not only unconcerned with what you order, but uninterested in you.
#3. How long did your date last?
The longer the first date, the higher the chance for a second. If conversation flows, it indicates to the restaurant staff that things are going well. Take it from Jeremee, a former server, bartender and now a current restaurant manager, who sees many dates start at the bar while the couple waits for a table. “If the dinner portion of the date is a success, many times the couple will return to the bar. However, if your date is not going well, it’s all about getting out of there as quick as possible,” he says.
It’s always a bad sign when your date stares at his/her watch at dinner, but if it’s actually cut short, chances are your relationship with this person will be cut short too.
#4. Who paid the bill?
Sorry ladies, but if he agrees to split the bill with you, it is not a good sign, says Damien Brady, the general manager of multiple family-owned restaurants. Brady, who’s been in the service industry for 19 years, explains that “splitting the bill means you don’t care to know this person.”
“Very rarely does a couple, clearly on a promising date, split a check,” adds Fletcher. However, both Fletcher and brady agree that when there is arguing and playful disagreement over who should pay, it is a very good sign the date went well.
#5. What did you and your date talk about?
Was the conversation just gossip, or more in-depth and thought-provoking? When a date is going well, a couple usually moves beyond the “let’s talk about so and so” to something more personal, says Fletcher.
If the conversation is drifting toward chit-chat but still want to explore a relationship (and get a second date), try asking something more serious; that may change the mood of the date and increase the possibility of a second one.
#6. How many times did your date get up during the meal?
Constant interruptions throughout your date should be a hint that your romantic interest would rather be away from the table than spend time with you. Also, unless your date has a stomach bug, frequent trips to the bathroom are huge red flags that the date is not going as planned. And if they appear to prefer talking to random people at the restaurant during the trips, you can go ahead and forget about that second date.